2/19/14

meditating today on wisdom.
Wisdom is certainly more than knowledge, more than intelligence, more than technological know how.  In our race for knowledge we forgot understanding. We forgot wisdom. We were fooled by thinking that knowledge would satisfy our longing. (sermon idea :)
But wisdom is the fear of the Lord. It is an acknowledgement that God is God and we are humans. He is the creator and we are the creature. Wisdom is truly beautiful, truly joyous, truly good for human existence.

2/13/14

Still reading through Joshua.  Joshua 8 is about the conquest of Ai.
Now more than ever before I read these passages with more terror than I ever had before.  God is giving his people the land of Canaan, but in order to do that, he must dispossess the people who are presently there.  Which means killing women and probably children.
Obviously, I am not in a position to judge God's commands, but I do struggle to incorporate this information into what I know about God.  Perhaps there is another lens through which I can see these passages.
One thing I do know, God is good. No matter what else, I know that God is good.  I can trust him, even when I don't understand him.
Lord, I'm filled with anxiety. I'm filled with fear and despair. I long for justice and peace, but I want it in a selfish way. Lord, free me from fear and anger. Free me from my insecurities.

2/11/14

Trying to keep in the habit of posting, but things are busier than I expected.  That's not an excuse, I just need to maintain the diligence to make sure that I make this a priority.

Today, I've been thinking a lot about humility. I've grown too arrogant about a few things in my life, while at the same time, there are things that I don't feel good about. I need to embrace God's grace in my brokenness.  

Lord, I need you to remind me again of my great need. My brokenness is beyond my ability to repair. I don't even truly recognize the depth of my brokenness. Lord, help me to seek your Kingdom above all else. In my own sinfulness, help me never condemn someone else for their brokenness, rather help me to have compassion and strive to help them experience your grace and healing.

2/6/14

Joshua 7
Once again faced with a God that is not palatable to our 21st century ideals, I need to pray for understanding. I need to approach God with humility, knowing that He is the creator and I am the creature. I have to remember that His ways are not my ways, His thoughts are not my thoughts.

Lord, in my desire to help others see you, I really want others to agree with me.  I want to be a conservative Christian with the approval and applause of the world.  Lord, I cannot have both of those things. I cannot be faithful to you and worried about the world's approval at the same time.

Lord, let me be sold-out for you. Father, help me once again be known by you and ready to do what you call me to do.

2/4/14

Well, it seems I'm having problems consistently remembering to post. But I'm going to improve in my efforts.

Today, I want to think about what I fear. I've been struggling with why I don't have joy in my life.  Why am I a pessimist?
I think I've always been a pessimist. I've always allowed fear to rule my life. But now it's fear of the future.  What happens when our culture no longer accepts my evangelical beliefs.  what happens when I have to suffer for my faith. I'm a doom and gloom kind of guy, so I see it just around the corner.  And indeed it might be closer than anyone thinks.
but even if it is, why shouldn't I be joyous about what God is doing? The early Christians were in a much more difficult position than I am in, and they were filled with joy. is it because I don't have faith in Jesus? Perhaps. But perhaps, I expect life to be sunshine and lollypops all the time. Perhaps, I'm angry because I don't think God is living up to his end of the bargain.
perhaps I need to let go of some things.
Anger- over the last couple of years at church.
Fear- We don't know what the future holds, so worrying about it just doesn't make sense.
Disappointment- I thought I'd be further along in my career by now

1/30/14

sorry, my family and I have been under the weather, so I've been a little lax in my posting.

Joshua 7:1 The Israelites acted unfaithfully

Achan and his family acted unfaithfully and their transgression affected all of Israel. I often think that the things I think, the anger, the lust, that they don't affect my church family.  But they do. I need to protect myself from my own weakness and brokenness.  Tomorrow morning at church, I'm going to make sure my internet filter is up to date.  I want to purify my life, so that our whole church will be victorious.

1/27/14

Joshua ch 6

Today I'm kind of wrestling with God's character.  Everyone was killed. even little children. I need to strive to understand those texts, while at the same time striving to trust the God who loves me and loves the world.
Today I find myself distracted.  I haven't slept much in the last couple of days, and it's starting to wear me out.  I want to have a quiet time, but things are just confused and muddled